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It’s difficult to go through life with your mother not around. If your mother abandoned you at some point or left your life for another reason, you’ll be missing someone important to your life. If you never knew your mother, you’ll have all sorts of unanswered questions, such as who is my real mom or how can I find my mom. You may want to find relatives you’ve never met or find out who your birth parents are too.

Fortunately, online resources have made it easier if you’re thinking it’s time to find out who my mom is. With the steps below, you’ll have the best chance at finding and reconnecting with your biological mother.

Collect Any Info You Have on Your Mom

The beginning of any search involves figuring out what you already know. You’ll want to collect any info on who your mom is, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Here is some of the information to record if you have it:

But what if you’re trying to find out where my mom is from scratch, and you don’t even have her name? This could be the case if you were adopted, but fortunately, there are avenues to obtain this information. You can ask your adoptive parents, request to see your birth certificate or go to either the adoption agency or court that handled the adoption to see what information they can release to you. It would be awesome if you could find her maiden name.

Run an Online Background Check

To get a full report on your biological mother, there’s no better option than an online background check. You can do one of these on FreeBackgroundCheck.org in seconds using whatever information you have available. Here’s how to do one using your mom’s name:

  1. Visit FreeBackgroundCheck.org. The name search option is the default, which means you don’t need to change anything there.
  2. Type in your mom’s first and last name in the fields provided.
  3. Enter a city and select a state for your mom if you have those. Any previous location where your mom has lived can work here. These fields are optional, and you can skip them if you don’t have them.
  4. Perform the search and look through the results.

There could be anywhere from no matches to thousands depending on the information you entered. Other search options you may wish to try, if you have the requisite information, is an address, phone number or email address search.

When you find your mom in the results, you can click View Report to see all the info the site has on her. This info comes from many sources, including social media, public records and the deep web.

Take a Genetic Test

Perhaps the most effective option, if you’re starting from scratch, is a genetic test. You can have one of these done through Ancestry.com or 23andMe, to name two of the most popular options. These tests do have a fee and a bit of a turnaround time, but you get a substantial amount of information from them.

Whether you go with an AncestryDNA test or one through 23andMe, you’ll receive a testing kit to collect your DNA. Once you’ve done so, you send the kit to the company and wait for your results. This will have information on both your mother’s and father’s sides of your family, including relatives and potential methods to contact them.

Look on Social Media

Social media is popular among people of all ages, making it a great place to search for your mom. You can look up people by name on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and Facebook also has some search options to help you narrow down your search parameters.

Since Facebook has the most people and search options, try going there first to see what comes up. If you find your mom, you can send her a message there to reach out. If you don’t have any luck on Facebook, give the other social networks a try. All of them allow direct messaging should you locate her.

Reaching Out for the First Time

Keep in mind that finding your mom is only half the battle. Once you find her, you’ll need to decide if you want to reach out to her and, if so, what you are going to say. Be prepared for any response and try not to get your hopes up right away. It’s better to end up pleasantly surprised than letdown. Messages and emails are better choices than a phone call, as they don’t put as much pressure on the recipient.

Even if you don’t end up contacting your mom, it’s still good to know more about her. It can be nice to know where you came from, and her family’s medical history is something you should be aware of for your own health and safety.